Krabs Karnage
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Mr. Krabs has had it up to his limit with SpongeBob's kooky antics


Danger was a threat, and doom was raining down from the heavens. It was time for defeat.

The beloved Squidward took his toes deeply into account before moving his eyes to face the deadly subject.

Mr. Krabs held his staff and slammed it on SpongeBob's roof. "Aye, me boy…" he exasperatedly bellowed. "I have ye a duty."

Squidward screamed in pain as he sensed the dishonour plague his spirit.

SpongeBob awoke from his slumber and hurriedly made his way out of the pineapple abode. "What happens?" he said.

Mr. Krabs winked down at the young yellow sponge and cast a deck of cards down to the sand.

SpongeBob gasped at the sight of cardboard playing units and twisted his fingers to hug like a magic genie.

"My boy…" said Krabs. His heart was holding onto a feeling yet to be described.

SpongeBob clenched the cards tightly and bowed down to the Krabby Patty that had descended onto his nose. "My thoughts and prayers go to the glorious love of fast food eatery…"

"I can see ye got a dedicative spryness to yer heart, eh SpongeBob?"

SpongeBob released the cards and looked up at Mr. Krabs. Authority was coursing through his fanciful likeness. He felt angry, scared, and fed-up with his boss's foxy charisma.

Squidward gasped for water as he felt his toes' life start to fade rapidly. "SpongeBob!" he cried to his next-door neighbour. "You must live!"

With that, Squidward disappeared into the Sacred Realm. SpongeBob let loose tears of woe.

Mr. Krabs let out a taste of delicious goodness from his sweaty pits and tickled SpongeBob's nose with the ingredients amid his scents.

"You must die…" said SpongeBob. He charged up his energy blast in his right hand and fired away at the mid-life crustacean.

Mr. Krabs batted it away and charged up his own attack. "This is a special technique passed down throughout the many generations of Krabs, lad."

SpongeBob gasped at the sight and filled up with the stuff only behind can do. It made the opinions of the wealthy a needless addition to karma.

Patrick slowly rose from the spot he had fallen due to the ice cream mishaps earlier. He glanced over at his best friend locked in heated combat with the atrocious arthropod. "Dear Neptune… Mr. Krabs is about to unleash the Krabby-Hammy Ha…"

Patrick sternly buckled up his seatbelt and grew some giant ears. Using the ears, he flew over to SpongeBob and gave him a spectacular friendship bracelet.

SpongeBob wore the wristband with the utmost pride and wedged a teabag between his two buck teeth. "Thanks, Pat. Now I am ready…"

SpongeBob was amazed by his newfound strength and channeled it into his heart and straight outta Bikini Bottom. He could feel his fists morph into ironclad mega weapons.

Mr. Krabs continued to roared as he charged up the Krabby-Hammy Ha. It was only seconds from a blast to end all of humanity. Only the cockroaches would survive.

SpongeBob readied his hotness and exerted his tight tushy. His flingmakers could now hang with the best of 'em.

"Isn't it incredible, Gary?" said SpongeBob as he looked over at the sea snail.

"Meow," replied Gary with so much steez that it tore a hole in the space-time continuum.

"Hot," said Squidward as he watched the muscle match unfold from his time machine. "This is exactly how I want to spend my Fridays from now on." He honked his nose as he laughed and grabbed his clarinet. He jammed the clarinet into the coin slot on the time machine. Time escalated forward and saved the grandiose powers of Neptune's Golden Spatula.

Neptune flew down and looked at how vivid and wildly attractive SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs were. "Who pulled the spatula from the grease?" he cried.

SpongeBob looked up at the King of the Seas and started to untie his shoes. He hoped this would get the power of poison on his side.

But Mr. Krabs had some back up that was quite disheartening. He unveiled a tube of wrapping paper. However, the wrapping paper was far from fun and endearing. Instead Mr. Krabs had bought the BUP boy brand and it looked like toad smeared on toast.

"Barnacles!" growled SpongeBob. He licked his right eyeball with his left tongue and began singing deep within his heart. "It's time to Luke and load…"

Ten iotas of a magic holiday hare later, my nose was now available at the Chao Garden Market.

"This will do, lad…" Mr. Krabs smirked as he launched the fatal blast down at his once-trusted frycook. So many memories were about to be lost now.

But SpongeBob would find somewhere in his heart to survive the evil that must be eradicated because I said so, idiot.


End file.
